On January 9, 2012, Shepherd High School had a special speaker
come to speak to the middle school and high school about the topic of bullying.
The district has a clear policy on bullying, and we always want to
promote positive relationships with our students that foster a positive
learning environment. In addition to the meetings that administrators
have with student regarding bullying and what our expectations are for our
learning environment, we also bring in outside experts and motivational speakers
to help reinforce these messages. The speaker this year was Tom Thelen.
He was well received by the students and the teachers.
As administrators,
we always struggle with person or program we bring in to help support our goal
to create a positive school culture. We are often bombarded with offers
from individuals or groups wanting to present at the school. I am sure
all of these are good, but we have to pass on most and pick and choose who we
bring in based on timing, funding, and recommendations.
Mr. Thelen speaks
all over the country, but he is right here in Michigan. I know the
student took a positive message away from his presentation. Each person
was probably struck in different ways. But, there were a couple of things
that struck me. One of the biggest points Tom seemed to make was that
students need to stand up for what is right when they see others being bullied
or treated inappropriately. He said that studies show that only 10% of
the time others speak up when they are witnessing bullying. The other 90%
just sit and do nothing. They may be afraid or just don't know what to
do. Tom pointed out that we each have the ability to support those who
may be being bullied. There are times when a simple, "Hey, knock it
off." would work. It could be sitting with a student at lunch a
helping them be less of a "target" for those looking to bully others.
Mr. Thelen's message about "Being the Change" that make a
difference to those who might be bullied.
Another key point
that I took from the presentation was that often time bullying is a projection
of an individual's own hurts. The hurts from inside end up coming out in
the form of bullying to cover over the individuals own hurts or make their
hurts seem less significant.
Another key point
was that sometimes people "self-bully." Sometimes people hear a
message about themselves that is negative or they meet failure at something and
then tell themselves that they are not good or they are stupid, or ugly, and on
and on. Tom talked about the damage this "self-bullying" does
and suggested that if a person found they were doing this that they find a
person who can keep them accountable to not self-bully. Most of the time
people don't even know they are doing it. With the help of other and
time, people can slowly stop the self-bullying.
Though there were
many good points, one other that struck me was how students respond to being
bullied. In an interesting way, Mr. Thelen was able to show how certain
responses lead to increased or decreased difficulty. It was a message of
empowerment and coping skills.
We were glad to
have Mr. Thelen present to the students. If you are interested in finding
out more information about Mr. Thelen, his website is
http://tomthelen.com/.
